FaithBook?

I was thinking that if God put up His own Facebook page, He might get more devoted attention than He is getting now.  I can just imagine the number of “friends” that would flock to His site.  It might even set some kind of record.

And if He added the Scrabble app, He could sneak in some teaching and truth claims without folks even realizing it.  Of course any “reprimands” should only be an optional link, to avoid being unfriended.

In the photo section, He could include some of His greatest and most famous feats:  Moses and the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, the ascension, etc.  Pictures of sick and starving children or earthquake victims should best be left for tweets, though, since most folks are only touched by these kinds of appeals momentarily anyway, and He wouldn’t want to affect His stats by making people feel uncomfortable. 

Since many find it so hard to squeeze in a quiet time between work, coffee with friends, shopping, running to music lessons and Tae Kwon Jitsu Arts, this would solve that pesky relationship problem.  While checking e-mail and Facebook posts, you could include God with those you are keeping up with.  It would only take a second away from adding flowers and avocados to your Farmville plot. 

The Ominous Facebook Purge!

Okay, I’m cleaning out my friends on Facebook, so let me know if you want to stick around.

• If you are an uppercase F "Friend,” do nothing.  You are in.  I may not have a clue who you are, but you laugh at my jokes and "like” all my posts, so that makes you worthy.
• If you are a lowercase f "friend,” press the bullet point to remain on my list; if you don’t get the affirmation jingle, then within 5 minutes send 50 bucks to the Paypal link listed below.  If you still don’t get the jingle, vote Independent in the next election and try again.
• If you are an anonymous friend or a friend of a friend, and I don’t have any idea why I accepted your friend request, write in the field below in 500 words or more why I should even care whether you are on my list or not.  Of course, if you play Scrabble, you automatically move to the uppercase F variety–no questions asked.
• (Field)_______________________________________________________________________
• If this field does not acommodate 500 words, deposit 5o bucks as indicated above. 
• Link:  PAYPAL!!!!  If this link does not work, send a $100 cashier’s check to my cousin in Africa; email to follow.