There have been many times in my life when I gripped tight
in desperation
to calling, gifts, and kin,
thinking that my grip could hold. And yet
most often,
there was nothing I could have done to prevent the slipping away—
no desperate enough prayer, no holy enough life, no adequate bargain, no amount of rule-keeping and promise-making.
The dark and loss crept over my youthful optimism and my faulty belief that somehow I was protected—impervious—because
I held the right creeds and made my bed in the right holy camp,
but here I am,
helpless once again, eyes open once again to my need, and
I am gripping tight
to You.
