Thursday, December 19, 2013

If Christmas

If Christmas were all about glitter and lights
and gifts under a Charlie Brown pine,
perched awkwardly, displacing a more permanent resident chair;
if it were just about cards and carols sung off-key at children’s plays,
with lop-sided crowns and angels sporting withering wings—as cute as that is;
if it were just about expectation of giving and receiving more stuff,
then I would be the Grinch’s biggest fan.
Disappointment would not be worth the price of turkey and pumpkin pie.
But as much as it can be about family and fellowship, the good and ugly
in all of that;
and as much as it is about traditions and nostalgia, the good, quaint, and sometimes trite
in all of that;
even more, it is about the crèche, lost in the parade of tinsel, tumult, and talk.
It’s the spectacle of God humiliating Himself to accommodate a fallen race,
becoming of us,
to buy us back,
willing to live and suffer for that joy beyond it all.
And if we have truly missed the wonder because of the raving repetition of traditions,
the busy busy of buying,
then we have missed it all.
This year, I think I should have one decoration, at least in my heart:
a baby in a manger come to redeem His beloved and to fill the hole in our hearts with
His joy.
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Saturday, December 14, 2013

The Life of Dog

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Oh, that my life were like my dog’s–
simple, accepted, and sweet.
Affection is enough,
belonging is enough,
easy forgiveness and howling joys.
Head to head with the master with no doubt
and only an occasional dark fear, made well by warm assurance.
Oh, that my life were like my dog’s–
simple, accepted, and sweet.
Daily food is enough,
access is enough,
easy rest and spinning fun.
Head to head with the housemates,
no work and only occasional stresses, made well with smiley scratches.
There is that anxious cleansing time,
but oh,
I would like my life if it were as my dog’s.
Hmm, wait . . .
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Saturday, November 30, 2013

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Fun stuff, touring the LA Arboretum

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  1. Cute as the child is, I am stunned by the last picture.

  2. Wow! And yes your grandchild is cute. Grandchildren are such a blessing.
  3. pattisj says:

    She is a living doll! Nice peacock action, too.

  4. If the hawks aren’t after you, the peacocks are! Amazing photo on the bottom. :)

Sunday, November 3, 2013

More Infidel Than Faithful

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My theological positions catch all the loose reasoning threads,
and I am satisfied,
maybe even smug,
that I have things all figured out—life and God all figured out.
But when my pain is greater than my doctrine
and my panic stronger than my syllogisms,
I feel more infidel than faithful.
more unsettled than sure.
When the press is great and the rescue far off, help me not to fail but fall—
fall into You.
Without this falling, I will free-fall and be lost.

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To Fall Into You

Friday, September 27, 2013

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It was a dark path, overgrown and weedy, and it stretched away to the distance as far as forever.
I said, “I trust You, Lord. Trust that when you said, ‘Walk’ You meant this path, this way.”

But even as I trusted, I saw helpers to the side, slightly hidden but still within reach. Youth reached out a hand of encouragement; and across the way, Vitality showed a hint of a smile. Time beckoned me on, and I was able to relax a little.

It was comforting that my trust had help—that I had resource and that I was not alone, not really. I mean, “I trust you, Lord, but I’m only human.”

I walked for miles, for years, comforted by my friends. They were my safety net when the going got arduous.

When my energy failed, Vitality gave me rest.

When responsibilities mounted and rained down on me in an unending stream, Youth gave me the will and the strength to fight on.

When unforeseen setbacks tripped me up and made me desperate for the progress lost, Time gave me years. And I trusted on.

I walked for miles, for years, and got comfortable in my buoyed trust.

Until today.

The road is narrower now. Though there is a glimmer way off in the distance, there is much ground to cover yet. And they are gone.

Where are the comforting friends that cheered me on from the sidelines, always with the assurance that trust has a buffer?

The trust is narrower now, and I find I must dig in with both hands and bloody heart. There is no Youth, no Vitality, and there is no Time. Only trust in You.

If I am to finish this course, faith intact, trust in You must be enough.

Was it enough before and I didn’t know it?

Is this stripping, this ripping, a surer place to be when the path still is dark and the way still so treacherous?

I will trust because it is all I have left, and perhaps this was the place I should have been all along.

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About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Christian, Faith, Photography, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Edit

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Friday, September 6, 2013

If the World Were Turned Upside-down

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If the world were turned upside-down, I could walk on clouds, breathing crystalline vapor.

I could spin webs between my fingers of cool color and soft wind, exploring the ever-changing wonder of vapor.

I could dance free from cloud to cloud, hidden when chosen, visible at will. Unchained, untainted.

Soil and water would be almost out of sight, wisps of blue, green, and brown. I would imagine fanciful shapes in those far-off lands where dragons and angels would hold the same untouchable fascination. No fear.

If only the world were turned upside-down it might be finally upside-right.
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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Am Here

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I am here;
do you see me?

Fingertip to fingertip in a world where alienation is the norm,
I press in and on, seeking like-minded, like-hearted.

I am here;
do you see me?

About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Photography, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Edit

8 Responses to I Am Here

  1. dorannrule says:
    You should submit this to a magazine! Both the photo and the words are stunning.
  2. Oh!! I love this post! My favorite by you thus far!! :)

I would love to hear from you!

Friday, August 23, 2013

There is a Different Way of Seeing

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There is a different way of seeing.

A handicap spot, and you seem so able as I cluck my judging mental tongue. But I don’t see the pain and fatigue that chains your ankles to the ground, making even those few extra steps a burden.

When the inconsiderate one enters the exit instead of the entrance, I assume she is obtuse or disrespectful of other people’s space, but what I don’t see is the soul that is counting steps to see how many she can manage with the energy left and still finish all her errands.

You looked strong today, so in control. And what I didn’t see were the tears cupped at the edge of your frazzled and pained brain, ready to spill with the slightest jostle. What I didn’t see was the bathroom stall where tears fell and spirit sagged from a thoughtless word.

There is a different way of seeing.
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Monday, August 19, 2013

Here's Your Happy Pill!

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About apronheadlilly

wife and mother, musician, composer / poet, teacher, and observer of the world, flawed Christ-follower
This entry was posted in Photography and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Edit

One Response to Here’s Your Happy Pill!

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