The Weighty Issues of Weightloss

I have a plethora of diet and nutrition books.  They are bookended in my library by other fiction, like The Lord of the Rings and Little House on the Prairie, with a basket of Robin Cook medical mysteries close by in case of emergency.  The sum total of the diet books’ weight is close to my own–neither has shifted much in the last few years!

I have the LA Diet, The Maker’s Diet, The Serotonin Diet, Be a Loser, and my favorite ones The Longevity Diet, and The Anti-aging Plan.  These last two take the unique approach in encouraging adherents not to eat.  I’d say eating 5 almonds for breakfast is close to revolutionary!

And of course none of these diet plans agree with one another.  On the McDougall plan, you can’t eat anything but raw, organic veggies and fruit (not much fruit!).  Okay, I’m in that ballpark.  But no oil–not even olive–and no avocados. 

The Hippocrates Institute guy lives on sprouts and juiced raw everything.  The Gerson plan says sprouts will give you arthritis and otherwise kill you.  One book says I can’t eat anything along with fruit, and another says I can’t eat fruit.  Well, that kind of takes care of the combining problem. 

 One touts high protein–meat, meat, meat–and cites studies from Inuit folk in bygone days before the invasion of MacDonalds and Starbucks to the great white North.   Another cites studies from African bush people who eat nothing but plain grass, roots, and rocks and live longer than American couch potatoes–unless, of course, there is an outbreak of civil unrest and genocide.

So who do I believe?  I gave up Diet Pepsi 2 years ago, so that should add at least 5 years to my life.  But I’ve had a appendectomy surgery, and that supposedly takes off 10.  I eat largely an organic vegetarian diet, but I do eat some meats that are not plugged with antibiotics and growth hormone.  That should give me another 10 or so.  And when I do eat steak (rarely), I sit on the floor so as to eat lower on the food chain. 

My biggest sin is coffee, but it is organic.  The creamers . . . mmm, not so much.  With all this dietary concern I might add a year here and I might lose a year there, and I could be so distracted that I wander into the street and get hit by a truck.  So I figure the best mantra is to cite that this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it–after my spirulina shake.